How To Know You're a Mellophone
by O Spastic One
Summary: Well, these are all things that've happened to me, being a Mellophone...There's some crazy things.   Don't read if you don't like DM bashing...kind of...but not really. Mainly just SL bashing...Even though he's like an older bro to me. It's what we do.


Note: SL=Section Leader, CSL=Co-Section Leader, DM=Drum Major (just so no one gets confused :)  
'Nother Note: There are stories behind almost all of these, and I might write a FanFic for those stories…possibly…If I get enough reviews for this one!

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You Know You're A Mellophone Player When…

1 You always make fun of your SL right in front of his face and he really doesn't even notice it

2 Your SL is TOTALLY oblivious to everything

3 You say your SL's name repeatedly until he gets pissed and says "WHAT?"

4 You answer, "Hi!"

5 You're afraid that your CSL is going to kill the section leader

6 You're always the first section on the field to the warm-up arcs/reset

7 You joke about doing mean things to your SL (i.e. duct taping him to the parking lot/outside of the bus on the trip/chair, TPing his house, etc. I'm open to ideas, too! XD )

8 You ask your CSL for a ride home

9 You have REALLY weird dreams about your section

10 You scream "I LOVE BEING A MELLOPHONE!" at the top of your lungs after a football game when you're going back to the band room

11 You and your friend scream very high pitched at the football games and your CSL gets mad cause it hurts his ears

12 You see a moth and name him Charley James Worthington and then name a little bug Bobby when you're at a football game and you're really bored

13 You accidentally kill Bobby and your friend gets mad at you

14 You blame the CSL for killing Bobby, and him having no idea what you're talking about

15 You sing completely random songs (i.e. Christmas carols and Bringing Home My Baby Bumble Bee) on the first Band Trip you go on

16 Without realizing it, you mark time when you're listening to your show

17 You kinda feel like a stalker when you ask your CSL where your SL lives, considering you've have really weird dreams about him

18 You kinda feel like a stalker when you find out where your DM lives

19 You live just a few streets over from your CSL

20 You bring PowerAde to the football game and your SL gets mad at you because you're not supposed to drink anything except water when in uniform

21 You give your CSL the PowerAde, just to see your SL's reaction

22 Your SL's best friend drinking some of your PowerAde and you really don't care, even though everyone else in your section is like, "GROSS!" (but still you wash the water bottle afterwards)

23 You beg the people in your section for food after the half-time performance

24 You say that your SL is "David's Copperfield" (David is his best friend plus the SL disappears all the time)

25 You totally run into your CSL when you practice the entrance for the homecoming assembly (he really had no idea where he was going and I was right behind him)

26 The people in your section figure out that the DMs (even though they're both boys), have periods (one becomes more flushed in the face, more strict and has a mental breakdown about every other day ((one time it was about glitter)); and the other one just becomes more like himself: when asked what to do for fundraising, he says, "We could always belly dance!")

27 You and your friend figure that the guys in your section also have periods (really only the SL and the CSL)

28 You get married, have five kids at the same time (one of them was still-born), become a great-great-great-great-great grandma, and die at practice in the space of about forty-five minutes

29 You get married to the same guy the next practice and have five kids again, only this time you don't die (and that is still going on and we're freakin old and I don't even know how many "greats" are in front of the "grandparents")

30 You freak out when your CSL polishes your Mello and say, "Ooooh! Shiny!"

31 You're easily entertained by your finger moving in a circle

32 You're at a football game and when Darth Vader's theme song comes on, you start singing along with it at the top of your lungs and one of the DMs looks at you and just shakes his head, thinking, "It's the Mellophones…just ignore them"

33 You play the trumpet part of "Final Countdown"

34 You say "VROOM!" whenever a car passes by the bus

35 Your CSL's root beer explodes all over him when he's taking you home

36 You laugh at your DM when he eats all of the French Fries from Jack-in-the-Box that you had (like, four different peoples' portion of French Fries)

37 You and your CSL are entertained by a little three-wheeled car when it turns its break lights on that's driving in front of you when he's taking you home (if that makes any sense…^-^)

38 You make up REALLY weird words when you're tired (mothings, comeongies, sturch, and the list goes on and on)

39 You steal your friend's cell phone and constantly text your CSL during class until he gets pissed

40 You get angry when your CSL doesn't text you back (even though it was the middle of class)

41 You freak out when your CSL wears a neon yellow shirt that, like, glows in the dark

42 You say REALLY idiotic things like: "That was your face in my hand!…Wait…" *laughs hysterically*

43 Your SL looks both amused and horrified when a streaker goes across the field at the homecoming game

44 Your SL gives you a foot of tape when you have about three sets left

45 Your SL has to tell you to stay when he goes to get the tuner

46 You scream your CSL's name whenever you see him and vice versa

47 You consider your SL and CSL to be your older brothers

48 You kind of have a crush on your CSL, but not really

49 You're not mellow at all

50 You think that when people spell "mellow" it's wrong (it's spelled M-E-L-L-O, not with a 'w', DANG IT!)

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And that right there is 50 reasons why you should become a Mellophone! ;)

We're just awesome that way.


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